Bore draw

Group   F

Iran   0         Nigeria  0

Well the less said about this the better, absolute stinker of a game.  The only thing to report about it was when Shola Ameobi came on it reminded me of a interview with him quite a few years ago when the presenter asked him if his then boss Sir Bobby Robson (who was infamous for getting players names wrong) ever called him Shola Ama (late 90's R&B singer), he replied "no, he calls me Carl Cort".

Ama?

Ameobi?

                       

Ok, which one is it Pedro?

Cort?

Dirty, filthy and at last Messi

Group  E

France   3                   Honduras  0

Benzama (45pen,72) 

Valladares (48og)

The French made their bow at the world cup with an easy victory against a filthy Honduran side.  That's not a dig at their personal hygiene or general appearance, it was just a comment based on their dirty fouling ways.  If the late David Coleman had seen this game he would have been forced to make a 5 minute introduction about it before the game started.  The Hondurans were rightly reduced to ten men in this game after a ridiculous foul in the penalty box by former Spurs mummy's boy Wilson Palacios.  He had  received a yellow card earlier in the game for his part in an altercation with French starlet Paul Pogba, where the latter, after being kicked to pieces, kicked out and should have been sent off but was only booked.  The Honduran's probably should have and could have seen more than the  one red they got due to their indiscipline, but anyway the best team one.

Group  F

Argentina  2               Bosnia  1

Kolalasinac (3og)                   Ibesevic (84)
Messi (65)



Bosnia will feel a bit aggrieved that they didn't get something out of this game as other than an unfortunate own goal Argentina were poor and very lucky to go into the break leading.  A change in formation gave Messi  more freedom and eventually he scored a very good goal, a typical Messi  goal.  Argentina had more chances but a 3 or 4 goal scoreline would have been flattering for Argentina and probably undeserved, as the game headed toward full time Bosnia pulled a goal back and started to put on some late pressure, but in the end Argentina took all the points and we still haven't had a draw in this years competition.

People will go on about the Messi goal and how great it was, and what a little genius he is.  Yes it was a good goal and yes he took it well but lets not forget for 64 minutes of that game he done absolutely nothing.  The goal will be shown over and over again so if you didn't manage see it when it happened, don't worry ITV and BBC will be showing it throughout the world cup and debating about were it stands in the rankings of the world cups best ever goals.  It was a good goal, but personally it wouldn't make my top ten.

Final minute crash for Fash the bash and co

Group   E

Switzerland  2          Wimbledon 88'  1

Mehmedi (47)                       Fashanu (22)

Seferovic (90)

It made a pleasant change to watch a game without standing up or pacing around or shouting at the telly.  I also have to say it makes a nice change to have a  ITV commentator in Sam Whatsamatterface who is quite good at his job.  Unfortunately his sidekick for this match Clarke Carlisle sounds like a really boring Gary Barlow.  

Wimbledon 88' started this game really well and it was them who struck first when a trademark Dennis Wise cross was powered home from close range by John Fashanu, the Swiss goalkeeper made a pathetic late dive from behind the line to try and keep it, but it was always in vain.  In the end it was a game of 2 halves, and the Swiss started the second half really quickly and equalised within 2 minutes of the restart.  The game then became a real end to ender.  Although the obvious difference in age and indeed timezone was against  Wimbledon 88' they kept on going right till the end.  In the last minute of the game Fash the Bash was denied his second goal of the game after a last ditch tackle from former West Ham midfielder Valon Berhami, who turned defence into attack and eventually set up a winning goal for Sefrovic.  

Although Switzerland won the game I don't remember Dons goalkeeper Dave Beasant having to make a save.

After the game the pain was plain to see on the Wimbledon players faces, it was indeed a hard scoreline to take.  Although on the losing side, when interviewed afterwards about his first world cup goal 52 year old presenter of  Nigerias' deal or no deal John Fashanu was reported to reply "AAAAAROOOOOGA".

Fash, celebrating his first world cup goal

They think its all over... It's not yet!!!

Group  D

England  1             Italy  2

Sturridge (37)                   Marchisio (35)

                                        Balotelli (50)

Alright, alright lets all calm down a bit, I have seen England play a lot a worse than that and win, Cameroon in 1990 springs to mind, Spain in Euro 96 another one.  We finished as semi finalists in both those competitions after just sneaking through.  We created more chances, and we caused the Italians quite a few problems, our finishing let us down but the Italian keeper was far the busier.  Wayne Rooney should have scored, and I shouted "will you ever score in the world cup, you wanker" when he put his chance wide, but I have seen enough football to know that you don't always get what you deserve, and in my opinion a draw would have been a fair result.  I am not going to bang on about the negatives, and blame Glenn Johnson for not being able to cross a ball, defend properly or retain the ball because they are things I already knew.  It is never a pleasurable experience watching England no matter how high or low your expectations, I can't say I enjoyed much of the match at all despite the obvious positives.  However one loss doesn't mean we are out, its going to be harder now to qualify but we already knew we would have to beat Uruguay before the tournament had even started to get through and nothing has changed.  

Last world cup Spain narrowly lost against Switzerland in their first game and still went on to win it.  In Italia 90 Argentina lost to Cameroon in the first game and reached the final.  As for England, who can forget the opening game against France in 2004 when we lost 2-1, beat Croatia and Switzerland and would have progressed to the semi finals if it wasn't for an injury to Rooney when we were in full flow.  This world cup isn't over for us yet and nothing would give me more pleasure than to see us smash Uruguay, but it is going to be tough and we will need to rely heavily on our never say die mentality, hopefully there is enough in this squad to get us through.      

COME ON ENGLAND!!!!!!

Group  C

Ivory Coast  2         Japan 1

Bony (64)                          Honda (16)

Gervinho (66)

Fuck knows what happened in this game I saw about 10 minutes, 2 in the morning.  I heard Garry Bloom start his commentary and I was gone.   Drogba didn't start but came on, and former Arsenal misfit Gervinho scored.

On me head son!

Group D wide open

Group C

Colombia  3       Greece 0

Armero (5)

Guiterez (58)

Rodriguez (90)

Dominant performance from the South Americans never looked in danger, Greece look a poor side and their Euro 2004 tournament win seems like a long time ago now.  Added bonus Guiterez scored and he is in my dream team.

Group D

Uruguay  1         Costa Rica  3

Cavani (24)                 Campbell (54)

                                    Duarte (57)

                                    Urena (84)

Would have taken a draw at the start of this game, but for the Costa Ricans to win this was certainly a shock.  The Uraguains were their usually dirty selves and the best team won.  My new favourite player of the tournament is the goalkeeper Navas probably because of his uncanny resemblance to Prashant Datani from dream team.

So a great result for both Italy and England, but now it is all about 1 thing.

  COME ON ENGLAND!!!!!

Its all Ted Rogers Fault.

Group A

Mexico 1   Cameroon  0

Peralta (61)

An ageing Cameroon side against a handy Mexican side, no surprises and all good news for Croatia and Count Kovac, who should now have no problems getting themselves through this group with Brazil.  Back in 1990 Cameroon became the first African team to reach the quarter finals of the world cup, this time round they will be lucky to finish as high as last.  As for Mexico they look a half decent side but with his goal scoring record they need to start with Hernandez "Chicoritto", littlle pea bloke.  

Group B

Spain   1                     Holland   5                                

Alonso (27pen)                  Van Persie (44,72)                                 

                                             Robben (53,80)                                     

                                              De Vrij (64)                                           

I don't know what the technical term is but but Spain got a good kicking, the question is how do the reigning champions bounce back from this?  It was a great game to watch and it had some great goals, but the highlight for me was the attempted high 5 between Van Persie and Van Gaal, proper shit.  It was a masterclass from the Dutch and great for the tournament.  After that result Holland should win this group, Spain should get second place, although their game against Chile is going to be much more important for them.

Group B

Chile  3              Australia  1 

Alexis (12)                 Cahill (35)
Valdivia (14)
Beausejour (90)  

I have to be honest with regards to the Chile, Australia game I fell asleep.  I knew I would because I stayed up until gone 2 am on Friday morning watching 321 on challenge.  So here is how I reckon it went.  Both teams came out and stood for the national anthems, Chile's first and then the Neighbours theme for Australia. Chile scored 2 quick goals, Australia got one back through Cahill with his head, who then ran to the corner flag and pretended to spar with it.  Half time.  90th minute conclusive goal for Chile.   

I have just seen the highlights and I was 100% correct.

Wake up you drongo the Socceroos are on!!

Even half way through my slumber a vision of Alf Stewart couldn't rise me from my sleep.

Its all Ted Rogers' fault, and his manky bin.

Referee. A right pain in the neck

Brazil  3                   Croatia  1             Group A

Neymar (29, 71 pen)           Marcello (11 Og)

Oscar (90)

So with 11 minutes gone and Croatia leading by an own goal, the whole football world, except Brazil were Croatian.  Lets be honest we all wanted Croatia to come out of that game with something.  However as soon as the final whistle went everybody turns round and says well done Brazil, the reason for this is simply because everybody respects Brazil.  The same cannot be said for other South American countries, and that is all because at the end of the day the samba boys are always a pleasure to watch.

As far as the game went it wasn't the greatest, but it did have incident, goals and of course some debatable refereeing decisions.  Whether or not it should have been a penalty and whether or not it was a foul on the Brazilian keeper, Croatian manager Niko Kovak should be proud with how is team played.

Kovac ,all smiles before the game

What I noticed about Niko Kovak was he looked a lot like a vampire.  At one point as Kovak was getting more and more annoyed I thought he was going to fang up and  run on the pitch, rip out the referees heart and eat it right in front of Neymar.  Luckily he was able to restrain himself, as I am sure that the removal  and/or eating of match officials vital organs before, during or after the match is looked upon quite dimly by FIFA and carries an automatic 2 game touchline ban.

I have also noticed that in all of Croatia's fixtures, there isn't a kick off time earlier than 5 pm Brazilian time.  Has this been put into place to avoid any vampire type managers internally combusting at any point during the match.  If so fair play to FIFA for their foresight into all eventualities.

      

That's not a penalty, ref!!

Croatia could still get out of this group but it will all depend on how good the other two teams Mexico and Cameroon do in their game tonight.  If one of those teams make a good solid start then Count Kovac and his bloodthirsty Croatians could be on there way home early.

Kovac is hoping it want all end in tears.