Klose than close.

Group  F

Argentina  1        Iran   0

Messi (90)

Iran can count themselves very unfortunate to walk away from this game with absolutely nothing.  It could have been so different if the referee had given the Iranians a stonewall penalty in the second half, but no, yet again the official who was so far behind play doesn't give it.  The biggest tournament in the world and FIFA think it right to have referees and assistants who are not good enough to ref and assist over Wanstead flats on a Sunday morning.  But then again its not about football for FIFA is it, that's why the 2022 world cup is in a fucking desert.  

Any way back to the game and Iran don't get a creditable draw which their performance at least deserved, instead little Lionel Messi does one thing in the whole game deep into stoppage time and gives this average Argentina side all 3 points, with what has to be said was a very good finish.  That's football, when you have a player up against you like Messi you cannot switch off at any time, because he just doesn't and that is what's  keeping Argentina in this tournament.  Big players win you world cups and Argentina have one of the biggest if not the biggest name in world football in him, Uruguay have it in Suarez  and Portugal have it in Ronaldo, a player like Roy Race from Roy of the Rovers, a player who can do nothing for 89 minutes and then one piece of magic in the last minute wins the game, although every time Roy Race got the ball  you thought he would pull out a Racey's rocket.

So Argentina will progress to the knockout stages without playing particularly well in both games, as for Iran they will now have to beat Bosnia and hope Argentina can beat Nigeria in their final game to give them any chance of getting through.

Group  F  

Nigeria  1         Bosnia    0

Odemwingie (29)

Peter Odemwingie's first half strike was enough to put Edin Dzeko's Bosnia out of the world cup.   The Nigerian's were deserved winners, although Bosnia did have a goal chalked off wrongfully for off side when the game was at 0-0, yet another piss poor decision from the officials.   

Group   G

Germany  2          Ghana  2

Gotze (51)                        Ayew A (54)

Klose (71)                        Gyan (63)

The first half of this game nearly sent me to sleep, but a pulsating second half full of incident saved me from an early night.  Ghana could and probably should have won this game but you always know that Germany never give up.  You could be 3-0 up against them with ten minutes remaining and you would still be thinking they are not out of it yet.  Germany are one of the most hard working teams left in this competition and their resilience and team work will be the major component that pushes this well oiled machine through to the knockout stages and maybe all the way to the final.  

Ghana will now have to rely on Portugal beating USA later today and hope that they can beat Portugal in their last game to stand any chance of getting through.  I can see Portugal losing today and joining England and Spain on the plane next week, in-turn taking the hard working black stars with them.

So tonight sees Portugal take on USA, so will we see a winking wanker and a Portugal win or will we hear USA, USA, USA, GET IN THE HOLE, and see a big crying baby.  I'm hoping for the latter but I might put my ear plugs in!!!

Bye Bye England, Bonjour France!!

Group     D

Italy        0                 Costa Rica   1

                                           Ruiz (44)

England's slim hopes of remaining in the world cup came to an abrupt end, thanks in part to a brilliant display from Costa Rica.  Hang on a minute Costa Rica, yep that's right, the so called whipping boys of group D have gone and done a number on the big boys in the group and deservedly sit atop the table.  The Costa Ricans had come into the competition with everybody expecting them to finish bottom of the group, and they turn up with a game plan and perfect tactics for playing against Italy, Uruguay and England.  The tactics were to get at them and stop them dominating and using their strengths, and they can play a bit as well.  I, like many thought the 3-1 win against Uruguay may have been a bit of a fluke, but now after watching this game it is obvious Costa Rica knew exactly what they were doing, it's just a shame that England, who were fully aware of the strengths of the other teams in the group, didn't feel the need to employ a game plan in their games against Uruguay and Italy.  So congratulations to Costa Rica on their qualification to the knockout rounds and good luck in the rest of the tournament.  

For Uruguay and Italy it is a winner takes all shoot out on Tuesday,  and one I think Uruguay will win either by hook or by crook, because lets be honest that's how they do things.  I thought from the start that Italy were a tiring team and wouldn't qualify, but obviously I thought England would have played better.  Uruguay are not  a great team though themselves, Suarez is really their only major weapon as he showed against us.  As for England they will also play on Tuesday against  Cost Rica in what basically is a dead rubber, although the Costa Rican's will be looking to continue their winning run and confirm themselves as group winners.  Roy Hodgeson will no doubt make changes, more likely in personnel more than in formation.  Expect to see Lampard get a sympathetic start probably in place of Gerrard, there may be other changes but it will all be irrelevant when Costa Rica show us and the world how to play and win against a 3rd world footballing nation.

Group  E

Switzerland   2                France  5

Dzemaili (81)                                Giroud (17)

Xhaka (87)                                   Matuidi (18)

                                                     Valbuena (40)

                                                     Benzema (67)

                                                     Sissoko (73)

I have never been a been a big fan of the French and have to admit that I have taken  a bit of joy in their downfalls over the years, but after their first two games France are the team that have impressed me most.  This French version of nice controlled bop it about attacking football has had me jump out of my seat more than any other team in the competition.  France look very good, maybe a bit loose at the back, but with their smooth attacking play they look like scoring every time they come forward.  Yesterday they scored 5 with 5 different scorers, missed a penalty and somehow the subsequent rebound and had a goal chalked off at the end just after the referee had blown his whistle for full time.  If they can keep up this football throughout the tournament and against some of the so called bigger teams they could go very far.  If they win their group then it will be Bosnia or Nigeria or Iran in the next round and then onto a possible quarter final showdown with Germany.  That certainly is a mouthwatering prospect.  The way France play at the moment reminds very much of the side of the early to mid 80's with the likes of Platini, Girresse, Tresor, Tiganna and Fernandez.  I hope they can keep this going as amazingly I look forward to watching France get better and better.

I think England going out has done something weird to my brain.

Group    E

Honduras   1                 Ecuador   2

Costly (31)                               Valencia E (34,65)

A win for Ecuador in this battle of the underdogs has given them an outside chance of progressing to the knockout phase.  Enner Valencia's 2nd and 3rd goals of the tournament has given them a lifeline, although they would probably need a positive result in their last game against the so far unstoppable French and hope at the same time Honduras can pull off an unlikely win against Switzerland.  Looks like Ecuador will be on the plane home on Thursday then.   

Its the best I could do with what was available.

Group   C

Colombia  2               Ivory Coast  1

Rodriguez (64)                     Gervinho (73)

Quintero (70)

Looks like these two teams are going to top the group, and Colombia will play the runners up in England's group.

Group   C

Japan   0               Greece  0

Nothing to see here.   Move along please.

Group   D

Louis Suarez  2        England   1

Suarez (39, 85)                   Rooney (75)

Right, I have been thinking all night and all morning how to approach this, I went for a walk and tried to turn it over in my head.  Do I go with the positives or do I go with the old fashioned, we are not good enough rant.  There is still a positive to take from this, and the main one  is how on earth are we still in this competition when we have lost both our opening games.  In a way we are lucky that we are in the group we are in.  As for all the permutations about how we can still get through, that don't matter, whether or not Italy win their two remaining games that don't matter.  We have got to go into the last game against Costa Rica and beat them.  Not just beat them by a scrappy 1-0, but absolutely batter them 4 or 5.  I would like to think that Italy have enough about them to beat Costa Rica tonight, and if they beat them convincingly then who knows. after all its not like the goal difference is unassailable.  Even if Italy don't do us a favour, we have to go out of this competition as winners of our final match, and convincing winners at that.  It don't matter if it's not enough at the end of the day, although some people might say if we do win well in our last game, why didn't we do that in the first place.  I simply say to those people surely it's better to do at some point than not do it at all.   On the other hand if we just turn up and go through the motions then it will be just the same old England , going out with a whimper, just like in 2010.

Anyway I shall be watching Italy tonight with my fingers crossed and hoping we get one more shot.  If not,  well it would have been another disappointing showing in a world cup our worst though, worryingly since 1958.  

Oh and one final positive, at least we don't have Steve McClaren as our manager.  YAAY!!

It must be terrible to be known as England's worst ever manager.  He is even below Cappello and a man who now throw's cider over himself for a living, Graham Taylor. 

Steve McClaren was the luckiest England manager there has ever been.  He only got the job because Scolari didn't take it., despite the FA trying to convince us that he was their man.  When we lost our penultimate game in qualifying against Russia for the 2008 Euros it looked all over, but then a strange twist of fate, an unlikely result amazingly put qualification back in England's and big Mac's hands.  We only needed to draw against Croatia to qualify.  McClaren had said after the Russia defeat that there were still some twists and turns and all though it wasn't in his hands at that point he was still confident.  He was right and weren't he  smug about it afterwards  Not at the final whistle versus Croatia he wasn't though standing in the pissing down rain with his umbrella whilst his team manages to lose.  McClaren was given a lifeline and he still couldn't make it work.  

Lets hope if Italy give us a lifeline tonight we don't do a McClaren with it, and it don't rain on Tuesday and Hodgeson doesn't come out holding a fucking umbrella.

Come on Italy!!!!

Cameroon memories.

Group   A

Cameroon   0           Croatia   4

                                          Olic (11)

                                          Perisic (48)

                                          Mandzukic (61, 73)

Cameroon bowed out of the tournament last night after an absolute demolition at the hands  Count Kovac's Croatia.  Croatia had their main striker Mandzukic back and he helped the Croatians on their way with with a second half brace.  Cameroon looked a sorry state. A first half sending off for Alex Song after some sort of attempted elbow made it even harder for the Africans to stay in the competition.  Croatia played well and took their chances, whereas the Cameroon showed very little in attack and ended up fighting amongst each other as the game and their own world cup hopes drew to an uninspiring end.

Its a shame that Cameroon are not the team they used to be. 

 Back in 1990 I had the pleasure of meeting a load of Cameroon fans in Naples.  Me and my mates had been staying in Cagliari to watch the England group games which had all been based there.  Cagliari is on an island off of the mainland.  With England qualifying for the knock out stage our next game was to be in Bologna which was right near the top of the country.  We decided we would get there the cheapest way possible which happened to be by ferry.  There were many ports we could dock in but we decided again mostly due to money issues that we would get the ferry to Naples.  

It was a couple of days before the England game was kicking off in Bologna and it would take ages to travel up there, so when we arrived in Naples at around midday we had already decided we were going to spend the day there.  The first thing we noticed as we entered the city was that it was full of Cameroon supporters, most of them in their shirts, blowing whistles and banging drums.  Their second round game was against Colombia which was being played in the San Paolo stadium at 5 pm.  We had had a few beers on the ferry over and we decided we would join the Cameroon and have a few drinks with them.   We got bollocksed, the blokes we were drinking with were on Guinness and Rum, I didn't fancy beer so I was on Pernod and black.  

About 3 o'clock most of the supporters started to leave, they were off to the stadium, anyway as everyone started leaving I managed to lose my mates and after a while I was left lost in the middle of Naples without a clue where I was.  I went back to the bar and couldn't find them anywhere, but just as I was about to get disconsolate, I saw something under the foot of one of the bar stools, on closer inspection I saw it was a ticket for that evenings game .  Fuck it I thought in for a penny, in for a pound.and off I went to the San Paolo stadium to watch Cameroon and Colombia.

After getting in the ground I soon realised I stuck out like a sore thumb.  There I was with my England shirt on bang in the middle of all these Cameroon supporters, I was a little tiny white speck in a massive sea of green.  What an atmosphere though, it was brilliant, the bloke next to me had a hip flask with some sort of alcohol in it which he kept sharing with me, I was already off my tits so by the time it got to kick off I had no clue.  It wasn't a great game but as I said the noise and party atmosphere made up for what was happening on the pitch, at one point someone put the drum round my neck and I was playing away as happy as Larry.

The game ended 0-0 in normal time and went in to extra time.  I was having such a good time and didn't want the game to end, I so wanted Cameroon to win.  Then in the first minute of the second half of extra time Samba dancing 48 year old Roger Milla gave Cameroon the lead, the place went mental I was jumping up and down, people were picking me up, it was unbelievable, then 3 minutes later as the crowd calmed down a bit, Colombian goalkeeper Rene Higuita came out of his area and started fucking about with the ball deep in his own half, Roger Milla promptly took the ball off him and ran towards an empty goal, as he ran the crowd began to lift of its feet, as they lifted  I was lifted high in the air, until finally Milla slots the ball into the net.  Its 2-0 to Cameroon and in the celebrations I have ended up on the pitch right near the corner flag Roger Milla is heading towards.  I don't really remember anything else as I was chucked out for being on the pitch. 

Colombia pulled a goal back but Cameroon won the game and met England in the quarter final.

Happy days, happy days indeed.

Unlucky Australia, Unrecognisable Spain

Group   B

Australia    2            Holland   3

Cahill (21)                          Robben (20)

Jedinak (64pen)                  Van Persie (58)

                                           Memphis (68)

Cahill scores the goal of the tournament so far , picks up a second booking which puts him out of the final group game and then his team lose and have to make an early exit out of the finals.  Fantastic effort form the Ozzy underdogs, but the free scoring, we are going to score one more than you attitude of the Dutch was just too much for them in the end.  The Dutch have started this world cup brilliantly and their front two have 3 goals each in only two games, but as we have seen in the past, just because a team starts well well it doesn't necessarily mean that they go on and win it, but after such a good start they are certainly in with a shout.

Group    B

 Spain   0               Chile   2

                                       Vargas (20)

                                       Araanguiz (43)

An unexpected early exit for the World champions and a fantastic performance from Chile, who are starting to get noticed in this world cup.  The Chileans are a super fit side and will cause any team left in this competition major problems in the knockout rounds.

As for Spain...

For the world and European champions it is the end of their reign

The fans will leave early with their hopes down the drain

It became obvious against Chile that there would be more pain

as their ticcy taccy football was played in vain

At times in this game it looked like a strain

And look they looked like the little lost boy who lives down the lane

Ill think they will lose the last game Australia to inflict more pain

And as Cypress Hill said "I love you Mary Jane

Anyway got a go cos my shed needs a stain

Fuck that, I'm watching Escape to victory with Michael Caine

Adios

Iker Casillas?
Ike and Tina Turner more like.

Is it all in the name?

Group  H

Belgium      2                Algeria    1

Fellani (70)                           Feghouli (25pen)

Mertens (80)

Many peoples dark horses Belgium finally got their world cup underway.  A lacklustre first half performance saw the Belgians fall behind to a 25th minute penalty.  Second half and a couple of changes in personnel and system paid dividends, and Belgium's direct play meant the turned this game around to take all three points.  

Group   H

Russia    1                       South Korea   1

Kerzhakov (74)                         Lee KH (68)

This was a cautious game between two cautious teams, Korea were probably the more adventurous of the two and took the lead, when a long range shot was thrown into his own net by the Russian keeper.  Russia clawed one back a few minutes later as this game turned out to be the second most boring game of the tournament so far, only Iran and Nigeria's nil-niller is above this in the shit game charts.

Group   A

Brazil   0              Mexico   0

Although this was a goalless draw, there was quite a bit of action, notably from the Mexican goalkeeper who put in a man of the match performance by stopping chance after Brazil chance with any part of his body he could.  Brazil had most of the chances but Mexico held their own in what was quite an entertaining game. 

Brazil have started this world cup quite slowly, some might say it is a lot to do with the pressure they are under as firm favourites to lift the trophy and also with the competition being in their own back yard.  I personally think its a lot more straight forward than all that.  In the past just the names of the Brazilian players would strike the fear of god into the opposition.  With the exception of maybe Neymar and Hulk, which names can possibly live up to such awe inspiring names of the past like Zico, Socrates, Junior and Falcao.  Not to mention Pele, Garrancha, Jarzinho, Ronaldo and Ronaldinho.  When they look to the bench to bring on a new face, they can't bring on a name like Careca, Bebeto or Romario.  Instead off comes Oscar, Fred and Jo, to be replaced by who?   Bernard, Sid and Bill?  

Not so much the Boys from Brazil, more like Carry on up the Redeemer, starring Harry H Christ!!

I am sure they will improve as the tournament goes on, and after all they are still unbeaten and only have conceded 1 goal so I still expect them to win this group comfortably.  Second place in this group is not going to be so easy though, with Mexico looking strong and Count Kovac's Croatia only having to overcome a hapless Cameroon tonight, it should leave the final game between Croatia and Mexico as an all or nothing, winner takes all shootout for second spot.  Could be a right Humdinger!  

Pepe Le Prick

Group G

Germany   4    Portugal   0

Muller(12pen, 

45, 78)

Hummells (32)

It's hard enough trying to beat a team like Germany when your 2 nil down with 11 men, let alone when your down to 10.  Pepe's sending off may of ruined any chance of Portugal getting through the group stage. Portugal are already seen by some as a 1 man team, and I have to admit there wasn't a lot of quality anywhere else on the pitch yesterday for the Portuguese.  Ronaldo was very quiet and only managed one decent free-kick, and a shot on target very early in the first half.  As for the sending off , Muller made a lot of it to begin with by rolling around on the floor, holding his face like someone had hit him with a baseball bat, but when Pepe leant towards him and nutted the German whilst he was on the ground it was just ludicrous, and he rightly got his marching orders.  As he trudged off the pitch, I decided to translate Pepe to English on my phone and no surprises it comes up as Bell-end!!!

Group G

Ghana  1               USA  2

Ayew A (82)                  Dempsey (1)

                                       Brooks (86)

An Early goal from 48 year old Dempsey gave USA the lead in this one, a lead they managed to hold onto until the 82nd minute, when one of the Ayew brothers pulled back an equaliser for the black stars.  A thunderous header for Johnny Brooks III (twice removed) made sure of the points for the Americans.  This was a big shock to me as I had USA finishing bottom of this group, but now after Portugal's heavy defeat this win could well propel the Yankeedoodledoo's into the knockout rounds.  Good luck to them but I sort of hope they don't go through, only because I don't want to have to put up with interviews with their over excited fans shouting USA, USA, USA, USA, USA all over the fucking place.  

Belgium kick off later today, and this is a team I have been looking forward to seeing.  Also in the same group, Group H, Fabio Cappello starts his campaign with Russia  against South Korea.  I wonder if Cappello will go 4-1 down in this game and bring on Emile Heskey to try and turn it round.

With Brazil kicking off their second game today, it means the first round of games are coming to the end. Things that have pleased me so far with the tournament are the amount of big names from each team who have turned up this time around, also the lack of draws has been good, and we have seen plenty of goals.  

So all in all its been a good start, lets hope that this continues, and of course that England can turn it round against Uruguay on Thursday.

Come on England!!!