Mexico Robbed by Robben.

Knockout  Round of 16

Holland   2               Mexico   1

Sneijder (88)                      Dos Santos (48)

Huntelaar (90 pen)

Costa Rica   1            Greece  1

Ruiz (52)                                Papastathopoulos (90)

Costa Rica win 5-3 on penalties

Arjen Robben admits to diving.  Shock, horror.  Although he doesn't admit to diving for the winning penalty where he dived and conned the ref.  Sometimes I wish players would just keep their big mouth's shut, we know you cheat Robben, we know you dive, but there is no need to admit to diving when you didn't and lie about when you did.  Twat!  

Anyway with the game coming to an end Mexico were one nil up and looking toward a place in the quarters, when all of a sudden a 3 minute turn around the French knocked the unlucky Mexican's out of the world cup, that must be worse than losing on penalties.  It's  heartbreak for Mexico after they, like many other unfancied teams have put up such a good show at this years tournament.  Holland looked as though were going to be beaten, not just by the Mexican's but ultimately by the 38 degree heat.  The Dutch didn't look their flowing footballing selves and the ridiculous heat must have been a major reason behind this.  Fair play to the Dutch though they did what very good football teams do, they found a way to win, and that is what wins you tournaments.

The Dutch will now play little Costa Rica after a man of the match performance from the goalkeeper Ramon Tikaram.  47 year old Tikaram normally known for his acting roles in Dream Team and This LIfe, put in a near Schmichaelesque type display, at times fending off the never say die Greeks on his own.  Tanita Tikaram's older brother pulled off a range of top class saves after the Costa Rican's were reduced to ten men.  Their backs were against the wall for nearly an hour of this game as 10 played 11.  It ended in a penalty shoot out after an extra time that saw players from both teams looking dead on their feet.  It was Tikaram who saved the day though as his penalty shootout save from Gekas set up Michael Umana to score the winning penalty.  The Costa Rican's had lead from the 52nd minute but just failed to hold on to full time when Greece scored another late equaliser, defender Sokratis, who was obviously named after the philosopher and not after the late great Brazilian chain smoking midfielder, who was named after the same philosopher, pounced on a Tikaram parry in the 92nd minute.  Tikaram made up for this slight mistake ten fold though and it is now a showdown with the mighty Dutch that await in the quarter finals on Saturday.

Tikaram was asked if their would be a twist in his sobriety after the game, he told the interviewer he would get absolutely fuck faced if they managed to get passed Holland.

Nevas, Schmichaelesque at times

Scumbag XI

After the controversy of the Suarez biting incident I have decided to pick 11 players who have either cheated or done something so outrageous it has seen their world cup end in disgrace.

1:  Harald Schumacher

In 1982 this West German goalkeeper so fit to rush out of his area and jump straight into onrushing Frenchman Patrick Battiston.  Schumacher had no intention of going for the ball and wiped out the  French defender, knocking out three teeth in the process.  Schumacher showed no remorse for his actions and didn't even receive a yellow card for this cynical,  pre-meditated filth of a challenge.

3:  Jose Batista

Our first Uruguyan.  Batista still holds the unwanted record of the fastest sending off in world cup history.  His dirty late challenge on little tiny Gordon Strachan after 56 seconds in a group game in Mexico 1986.   His team mates looked  stunned at the decision, as they acted hard done by and surrounded the referee.  It's nice to see that after nearly 30 years Uruguay's petulance has improved beyond recognition.

5: Frank Rijkaard

The Dutchman became Germany's number one hated person in 1990 when he was caught on camera spitting at Rudi Voeller, during their round of 16 knockout match.   The German's had their revenge though as they progressed through to the quarter finals at Holland's expense, after both teams had been reduced to ten men.
This incident will always be remembered and spitting isn't  and should not be excepted in football.
Frank Rijkaard is dirty little fucker and deserves his place in the heart of this scumbag XI defence.

6:  Slaven Bilic

Surprise choice for some, but Slaven Bilic is our first cheat in the scumbag XI.  In the semi final against France in 1998 a bit of argey bargey in the box ended with Bilic falling to the ground holding his face.  In the aftermath French defender Laurent Blanc was sent off for an elbow.  Television evidence went on to prove that Bilic had not been touched by Blanc and the Frenchman had been sent off unfairly.  Luckily for France they went on to win the game and the final itself after beating Brazil 3-0.

2:  Mauro Tassotti

Italian Tassotti is famous for elbowing Spain's Luis Enrique in the face and breaking his nose without the referee seeing the incident.  It was only after retrospective evidence that the defender got his come-uppence and received an 8 match ban.  Apparently Luis Enrique lost about a pint of blood after this incident in the 1994 world cup in USA.

 7: Christiano Ronaldo

There is no doubt that Ronaldo is a fantastic footballer, but the reason he is in this line up is not just for his winking episode with then team mate Wayne Rooney in 2006 but just because he is another one of these players who although they have undoubted talent and ability they still have to act like a spoilt little twat.  Feigning injury, always first to complain and his general hard done to demeanor means the greatest player in the world at the moment gets the nod or the wink.

8:  Zineine Zidane

The 2006 world cup final and the greatest player in the world in his last appearance for France, instead of showing the world what an amazing player he was on the biggest stage, he decides to completely lose the plot and headbutt Italian Marco Matarazzi in the chest.  It was one of those what the fuck moments!  A well respected football genius having a meltdown right in front of everyones eyes.  What should have been a celebration of a fantastic career ended in one of complete disgrace.

4:  Rivaldo

The most ridiculous member of this team.  When Turkish player Hakan Unsal kicked the ball toward Rivaldo and hit him in the leg  the Brazilian decided to hold his face and roll around on the floor subsequently getting the poor Turk sent off.  Rivaldo was later found guilty of feigning injury and rightly fined.

 10:  Diego Maradonna

The first player in this team that comes in with a double whammy of offences.  His hand of god goal against England in 1986 was cheating at it's very worse, but his disgraceful ejection from the 1994 world cup for testing positive for drugs ended his international career and makes Maradonna the rightful owner of the Scumbag XI number 10 and deserved wearer of the captains armband.

11:  Willie Johnston

This Scotsman has the unfortunate tag of being the first British player to be sent home from a world cup.  In 1978 after Scotland's disappointing first game defeat to Peru, Johnston was dope tested and found positive of having a banned stimulant in his system.  The Scotsman was sent home in disgrace but as if  to show solidarity his Scottish team- mates were shortly following behind after failing to reach the knockout stages yet again.  Johnston still denies any illegal drug taking and he says the only medication he used whilst in Argentina was for hayfever.

9:  Luis Suarez

No Scumbag XI can be complete without a scumbag striker.  Luis Saurez another double whammy, not content with a blatant handball in the last minute of a quarter final against Ghana in 2010 to stop a goal.  He decides in the latest world cup in Brazil that he would bite another human being, for the third time in his career.  It isn't so much the biting but the fact he shows no remorse for what he has done.  Ladies and Gentleman I give you the pitbull, the rabid dog himself  Luis "the scumbag" Suarez.


 

Happy Uruguay are out day!!!

Knockout  Round of 16

Brazil    1              Chile   1

Luiz (18)                          Alexis (32)

Brazil win 3-2 on penalties

Colombia   2               U R OUT   0

Rodriguez (29, 50)

The last 16 kicked off with a pulsating game between the hosts and a hard working, never say die Chile side.  Ultimately it was the Brazilians who came out on top, but not until 120 minutes of football had been played when the underdogs eventually succumbed to the heartbreak of the dreaded penalty shoot out.

It's hard luck for the Chileans who have been another team in this world cup along with the likes of Mexico, Coasta Rica and Colombia who have been like a breath of fresh air.  The Chileans never looked out of this contest and nearly shocked the world of football when a last minute shot from substitute Pinalla rattled the Brazilian crossbar with Cesar well beaten.  So it wasn't to be for Chile, but they can walk away from this world cup with their heads held high and with a few more fans around the world.  Brazil march on and really still haven't shown the sort of football that we have come to expect from the South American's.  Results are all that matter though in this game and Brazil become the first team through to the quarter finals.

In the quarter finals Brazil will now play Colombia, after they dumped Uruguay out of the last 16.  I think all the world other than Uruguay of course wanted to see this result and were supporting Colombia after the whole Suarez situation had left such a bitter taste in the world of footballs mouth.  Although Uruguay forced a few saves from Colombia's brilliant goalkeeper David Ospina, it was the Colombian's who were always in control.  Two goals from new tournament top goalscorer James Rodriguez, the first of which an absolute beauty was enough to deservedly knock Uruguay out and send the Colombians through to a last 8 meeting with the their fellow South Americans.  Although the Brazilians will be favourites, I can see this exciting Colombian team causing Brazil quite a lot of problems whether or not it will be enough to knock the 5 time champions out of their own competition remains to be seen.  one thing is for sure it will be Brazil's toughest test to date, and if they play as they did against Chile yesterday then I expect Rodriguez and company to do a number on them.

Colombia have come a long way since 1990 when they reached the last 16 only to be knocked out by 2 Roger Milla and his Cameroon side.  Back then they were slightly ill disciplined  and even more naive, their best player looked like Cleo Laine with moustache, and they had a goalkeeper who was a complete mentalist.

 

 

No longer are Colombia a laughing stock not only do they have a young goalscoring sensation and a very good goalkeeper but they have decent hard working players all over the pitch.  

As for Uruguay I noticed that their national anthem has an introduction.  All the players were standing in silence for thirty seconds before they started to sing, I thought it was an instrumental.  It was like they were in assembly at junior school and they were waiting for the music teacher to play the first verse on the piano before they started to sing.  At one point I thought it was the hymn "The earth is yours O' God " and was expecting the players to shout the bit that goes "you nouriSH IT with rain", just like I did when I was at school.  By the time it had finished I wished it had have been an instrumental.  Anyway Uruguay are out and now they can go back home and console their star player who they still see as a hero.

Good riddance, the world cup doesn't need your shit!!! 

Group of Death for Portugal and Ghana.

Group   G

Portugal   2                 Ghana  1

Boyyyyyyyyy  (30 og)              Gyan (57)

Ronaldo (80)

USA   0                  Germany   1

                                       Muller (55)


After Ghana sent home two of their players for a training ground bust up, the African team were quickly joining them on the plane home.  Ronaldo got his world cup goal, but not even he could pull this sorry lot through to the next the round.  Germany ran out 1-0 winners against the States and luckily for Jurgen Klinsmann the two other teams in this group just didn't have enough to displace them as runners up in a group, that most people were calling the group of death.

Group   H

South  Korea  0        Belgium  1

                                           Vertonghan (78)

Algeria     1                 Russia  1

Silimani  (60)                           Kokorin (6)

Harry Redknapp was absolutely ecstatic last night after Algeria and their

"triffic" striker Silimani got the point they needed to make their way to knockout stages of the world cup.

Islam Silmani, he scores when he wants!

I had noticed earlier on in the night that the flat opposite me had an Algerian flag hanging off their balcony.  I can neither confirm or deny that a Range Rover pulled up outside the flats, or that a craggy faced 60 something man entered the flats just before kick off.  Nor can I deny or confirm that at the final whistle an Englishman surrounded by jubilant Algerians were jumping up and down on the balcony shouting "luvverley jubberley " and "triffic".

It was a bit like De Ja Vue for Fabio Crapello though, with 30 minutes to go in the game they would just need a goal to win it what does Fabio do, you guessed it.  Emile get your boots on son.

Go out there and get me a goal, golden boots.

In fact I was watching this game, cheering on the Algerians and he didn't do anything, and I am afraid to say Crapello and his Russians deserved everything they got which ended up being a first round knockout.

Belgium are steadily going along in this tournament and they are doing just enough, and you have got to say with the talent they have in this squad they could go all the way.

Last word on the Suarez ban, is it fair or is it harsh.  For me it was a bit like England's performance in the 2014 world cup.  I was hoping for a little bit more.

Diego Maradonna has had his say on the Saurez ban and he thinks the player has been treated unfairly and he defends the little Uraguyan.  This is why Maradonna will never be seen as the greatest player in the world ever, oh and he was a little fat cheating, horrible, moaning fat bastard.  I'm not bitter!!
And Suarez's own grandmother as spoke out and said that she thinks FIFA have treated her grandson like a dog.  That is probably because HE FUCKING ACTS LIKE A DOG LUV!  I shouted that just in case his Grandmama was a little hard of hearing.  What will he do next take a shit on the football pitch.

I think the boy Lineker might have shit himself Brian!

Jurgen says: People of America, have a day off.

Group    E

Ecuador    0          France    0

Honduras   0            Switzerland  3

                                          Shaqiri (6, 31, 71)


Although Ecuador put up a bit of a fight, and Honduras did most of their fighting on the pitch, there were no real surprises in this group as the 2 favourites topped the group[ and made it easily through to the next stage.  My new favourite team France made a few changes and showed that they really need to play their first eleven to have any chance of success this time round.  Switzerland thumped Ecuador with with  3 goals from Colombian arse shaking singing star Shaqira, her hat trick was the 50th hat trick in the world cup.

Shakira, 50th hat trick in world cup history.  Her hips don't lie.

Group   F

Bosnia   3               Iran    1

Dzeko (23)                      Goochi, Gooooch, Gooochinard.  Reza (82)

Pjanic (59)

Vrsajevic (83)

Nigeria  2              Argentina   3

Musa (4, 47)                   Messi (3, 45)

                                       Rojo (50)

Ok, I admit Messi is starting to look good in this tournament but what is the goalie doing for the free-kick?  

I feel a bit sorry for the Iranians after their last minute defeat to Argentina, but they didn't do enough at the end of the day, and Bosnia rolled them over. 

 Nigeria are the first African team to get through to the second phase and  I wonder if Harry Redknapp's favourite new team Algeria will be joining them, as I can't for the life of me see Ghana getting through, even if they beat Ronaldo.   Germany and USA will surely play out a draw, won't they?  

Apparently USA, USA, USA, GET IN THE HOLE manager Jurgen "the German" Klinsmann has told the American public to have a day off  to support and get behind their team as they aim to beat Germany and top the group.  I would be very surprised  if anybody in America even know's there is a world cup in soccer even going on.   Anyone who does take a day off though will use the excuse that Jurgen Klinsmann told them to, and will no doubt sue the German if they end up getting the sack from their job for not bothering to show up.   I really can't believe Jurgen is going to try and beat Germany, if it all goes tits up and USA end up losing this and Ghana end up winning against Portugal by a good few goals, then Klinsmann is going to look a right prick.  

Germany and USA to go through for me.  

So bye, bye Ronaldo.

Falcao who? Colombia march on.

Group   C

Greece   2          Ivory Coast   1

Samaris (42)               Bony (74)

Samaras (90 pen)

Japan   1              Colombia  4

Okazaki (45)                 Cuadrado (17 pen)

                                      Martinez (55,82)

                                       Rodriguez (89)

Not many would have had Greece and Colombia as winners and runners up in this group, but Colombia have been brilliant in this world cup so far scoring 9 goals in the process.  As for Greece their over defensive football saw them through against an Ivory Coast side who just didn't turn up on the night.  The Greek SAS, Samaris and Samaras scored the goals that booked the Greeks place in the second round.  Pele, the greatest player ever to kick a football, once stated that an African nation would win the world cup by the year 2000, obviously that hasn't happened and with only Cameroon in 1990 reaching the quarter final stage, and four years ago when Ghana were denied a semi final place by the hand of rabid dog, it doesn't look as if that will happen anytime soon.

Hey Bobby, an African team will win the world cup by the year 2000.

Group  D

Costa  Rica   0       England   0

Italy       0                   Uruguay   1

                                             Godin (81)

Uruguay booked their place in the second round for a showdown with fellow South American rivals Colombia.  There is no point going into the biggest talking point of this game, only to say if any person in any other walk of life bites someone else once, they would get sacked and or arrested, but for someone to do it 3 times is just truly unbelievable.  Saurez and the Uruguayan team should be embarrassed by their actions, and I for one hope Colombia absolutely batter them in the last 16.

As for England they came out of their last game with an emphatic 0-0 draw with the mighty Costa Rica.  I now know what it must be like to be Scottish fan.  For the first time ever since I have been watching England we have finished bottom of the group and not qualified for the second round.

Italy for me have been a poor team and even leading up to this tournament I thought they would not get out of this group, and I was proven right,  I did however think England would do much better, but unfortunately we are coming home with one point and 2 goals, and bottom of the table.  Disappointing.

.

24/6/1990

Knockout round last 16

West  Germany  2             Holland   1

Klinsmann  (51)                             R Koeman (89 pen)

Brehme  (82)

24 years ago today a game took place in Italia 90 that won't be remembered for a fantastic goal or by a match winning save.  It will long be remembered as the day that Holland's Frank Rijkaard sniffed as hard as he could and summoned up a massive greenie which he finally propelled into the German striker Ruddi Voeller's 1980's curly mullett.  

It is one of those moments in football, that you never forget, no matter how much you try to.

The Dutch lost this game and the German's went on to lift the trophy after they had beaten England in the semi finals on penalties.

The thing that I most remember about this incident though was the interview after the game that ITV had with the Then Ireland manager Jack Charlton.  I think it might have been Elton Welsby who asked Big Jack "what did you make of the spitting incident, Big Jack?" to which he replied.  "Absolutely disgusting Jim,  I tell you one thing though, if he hadder dunnit to me, I woulda chinned him.

Big Jack woulda chinned him.