My Mate Lawrenson

World Cup Final

Germany   1       Argentina   0

Gotze (113)

This is how it feels to score the winning goal in the world cup.

So the world cup is over and the best team won.  It's very rare that this happens in a world cup, and no one would have been surprised if it had gone all the way to penalties and the Argies had stole it at the end, but luckily we were saved that injustice and Germany won it for the 4th time, the first as a unified country, and in a world cup of firsts, the first time a European team as won in South America.  Yep the last time Germany won it they were West Germany, David "the Hoff" Hasslehoff hadn't even stood on the Berlin wall and sang his heart out as it crumbled to the ground by that time.

I was looking at twitter as the game was on last night and I have to say I was getting a bit pissed off with people slagging off Mark Lawrenson, now I understand that he is a bit boring and sounds like he is a bit pissed but he is also quite comical as a pundit and says it as it is.  Twitter get off his case!!  Also as Neur walked up to collect his award for being best goalkeeper of the tournament, I turned to my son and girlfriend and stated "that looks like something out of the Adam's family" just as I finished saying those word's Lawrenson piped up and said the exact same thing, which left both my son and girlfriend in fits of laughter.

The best moment of the night was definitely when they wheeled Sepp Blatter out for the presentation and he got absolutely caned by everyone in the crowd.  The whole stadium filled with boos as the head of FIFA walked in to view, and rightly so, what a cretin of a man.  I wonder if this complete lack of belief and support in him will finally convince him that the whole football hate him and it is time to do the decent thing and do one.

I wouldn't be too surprised if it was Blatter's decision to name Lionel Messi as the player of the tournament, I mean what the fuck!  Who was second then Glen Johnson?

Your not very popular are you Mr Putin

It's been a brilliant world cup, but just like all world cups by the time the next one comes around I will struggle to remember much about it.  

3rd Place Play Off

Holland   3                                 Brazil  0

Van Persie (3 pen)
Blind (16)
Wijnaldum (90)


The most pointless of games but it ended up being the most costly for big Phil as the 10th conceded goal in two games and a lucky fourth place costs him his job.

We have seen some great things at this world cup and some things that will never be forgotten, like Brazil losing 7-1, Costa Rica making the quarter finals, James Rodriguez, Spain losing their crown and of course Suarez biting again.  One thing I will forget though was that England were even taking part in it, the fact that we went out so early made this world cup as good as it's been, because I can tell you that if we had gone out in the quarter finals on penalties, I doubt I would have got into it as much as I have, I certainly wouldn't have continued with this blog.

So thank you Brazil for such a good world cup.  Well done to Yogi Love and his German's for winning it and thanks to anyone who took the time to read this blog.

Sportsday

Semi  Final

Argentina   0         Holland   0

Argentina win 4-2 on penalties

Normally I would write a post a day after the game, but I was a bit busy, yesterday I had to go to my kids sports-day.  I couldn't write it in the afternoon yesterday either because I had a little kip due to staying up on Wednesday night watching the negative Dutch playing the boring Germans in the most boring semi final in the history of world cup football.  I so hope Germany win on Sunday.  Argentina do not deserve to win the world cup.  

Anyway back to sports-day.  

 

The dad's race, that time every year you get to show your kids up.  When the dad's stepped up to the line you could see the hunger in their eyes, the race was so competitive that as I stood on the line the bloke next to me started jostling for position and gave me a little elbow to the ribs.  After receiving my little dig I turned round to see some of the contestants stretching out and warming up, I thought what the fuck are these people doing, as I was under the impression it was meant to be a bit of fun.  The bloke who stood next to me on the other side had taken off his trainers and had decided to run in his socks, he looked very nervous as his wife was telling everyone who would listen that he was going to win and that the other lot might as well not bother.   I seriously wondered what I had dropped myself in to here, this was not what I signed up for.  After a bit more jostling on the line and a bit of an argument and handbags between Socks and Elbows the P.E teacher rung his bell to start the race.  Elbows was off like a flash but Socks was left standing on the line and decided to pull out.  Elbows finished the race in second place and as for me I finished about second from last.  It was always going to be big ask from me as my 10 year old son really struggled to keep hold of my legs as we wheelbarrowed our way  down the running track.

After the race I went back to my place in the crowd where I saw Socks and his wife having a bit of a row, she was telling him that he had not only let his son down, he had let her down and most importantly he had let himself down.  Socks was trying to explain to his wife that he didn't hear the bell,  otherwise he would have won and those other cheating fuckers wouldn't have stood a chance.   Unfortunately we didn't get a chance to see the teachers race because the event came to an abrupt end when Socks' wife took umbrage to a comment that Elbows made about Socks.  It then escalated as Socks' wife started shouting at the bell ringing P.E teacher who she blamed for her husband not winning, suffice to say the children were then hurried back to their class rooms as the sports-day annual punch up took place in the centre of the playing fields.

How I love sports-day.

Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaazil!!!!!

Semi Final

Brazil    1            Germany  7 (seven)

Oscar (90)                   Muller (11)

                                    Klose (23)

                                    Kroos (24, 26)

                                    Khedira (29)

                                    Schurrle (69, 79)

This world cup has been so full of surprises, but nobody could have seen this one coming.  Although Brazil have been poor by their high standards and they have been awful in defence in this tournament, they were doing what champions elect tend to do, they were winning games but not playing well.  I had a feeling the German's were going to win last night but nowhere near as comfortably as they did.  As poor as the Brazilian were, the German's were at their most efficient and clinical best, they just didn't take any prisoners.   I have never witnessed Brazil being so outclassed by another team in all the years I have been watching world cup football.  The closest I have seen to an embarrassing defeat  involving a Brazil team was when the great Brazilian side of 1982 went 1-0 down to tiny Scotland in a first round group game.  I remember Dundee United player David Narey scoring the opening goal and the Scots going absolutely ballistic, I also remember the headlines of the paper the next day stating that "Narey Rocks Brazil", well he may of rocked them but within minutes the class showed and the Samba boys turned the game on its head and romped home as 4-1 winners, I remember Zico scored an overhead kick in that game.  

Last nights result though was completely and utterly embarrassing,  to be beaten in your own country for the first time in 62 games is bad enough but to have that record ended by such a humiliating scoreline must have been cringe-worthy for the loyal Brazilian fans.  It's a defeat that I think will be so hard to take for some of these Brazilian players and I wouldn't be surprised if some of the under-performing flops of this campaign never put on the famous yellow shirt ever again.  The likes of Fred who was booed off the pitch in the second half must be expecting the worst as other than the one goal he scored he has contributed absolutely nothing.

As for Germany my girlfriend has got them in the sweep-stake. at work so she is guaranteed £30, £50 if the win.  Never thought I would be rooting for the German's but after last night's performance there is only one winner in my eyes.

Here is a little montage of events from last night.

1-0

2-0

3-0

4-0

Your not helping Fonzie.  5-0

6-0

7-0

Yay, Oscar scored 7-1

And there's the final whistle.
Bye Bye Brazil.

Not This Time

On this day 32 years ago I had just arrived home from Spain after witnessing my England team being cruelly knocked out of the tournament the night before.  It was the first time I had suffered the experience of being dumped out of a world cup, I wouldn't mind but we never lost a game and only conceded 1 goal.  The way the tournament worked in 1982 was absolute bollocks.  The winners and runners up of the 6 groups went in to 4 more groups of 3 where the winners of each group would reach the semi finals.  England's second round group consisted of Germany and Spain.  England drew with Germany in the first game and then Germany beat Spain, so it meant that we had to beat Spain to go through.

The England squad for this world cup was probably, no definitely the best squad Ron Greenwood could have picked.  The only problem was that in this squad were two injured players who had been taken to Spain, in the hope they would regain fitness as the tournament went along.  Those 2 men were Trevor Brooking and former 2 times European player of the year Kevin "mighty mouse" Keegan.  In qualifying Brooking had scored 2 goals against Hungary one of which was the iconic goal that got stuck in the gap between post and crossbar (not stanchion) and in the final qualifier against Hungary again, it was Brooking's shot that was heading for the corner flag that hit an on rushing Paul Mariner's shin, who then  fell over as the ball trundled over the line to confirm England's participation in the world cup for the first time since 1970.  As for Keegan he was not only England's star man and captain, he was England's Roy Race.

Due to their injuries Brooking and Keegan had not been used in any of the three group games nor where they used in the first of the second group game, but running up to the make or break game with Spain rumours were rife that either one or both of England's star men were going to have a part to play.

  Me and my mates Hula Hoop, Tag Nut and Penfold waited with anticipation along with all the other England fans as the starting 11 were announced and to our despair neither Brooking and Keegan were in it.  The game was deadlocked at nil nil when with about 15 minutes remaining all eyes were attracted to the touchline and England's dug out, and there could be seen the unmistakable figures of Brooking and Keegan stripped and ready for action.  My mate Hula Hoop started going into one and shouting at the Spanish supporters about the fact that Trevor was gonna kill em'.  I was not aware of what was going on as I had just noticed that Tag Nut was wearing my hat and I think my mate Penfold was having trouble seeing anything as he had a problem with his eye.

From L to R  Hula Hoop, Me, Penfold and Tag Nut wearing my hat.

So on come  the players we had all been waiting for and the stage was set for one of these boys to get us through to the semi final.  Within a few minutes of coming on Brooking picked up the ball I think it was on the right and put in a typical Sir Trev cross which was pinpointed on to his mate Keegan's head, Keegan rose to meet the cross with his tight bubbly permed covered bonce.  The crowd stood silently as the ball seemed to travel in slow motion toward the Spain goal and went wide.  A massive cry of  OH NOOOOOOO  rings around the stadium from the England fans, and there on the pitch holding his head totally crestfallen was the man who would have been king, Kevin Keegan.

I would've loved it if I had scored that goal.

That was the real first disappointment I ever had as an England supporter, unfortunately it would not be the last.  Maybe one day we will be able to celebrate again like we did in 66, but after this years shower of shit I can't see it happening anytime soon.

Krul on Costa Rica, as Bryan Ruiz wishes he was lucky.

Quarter finals

France    0          Germany   1

                                    Hummels (12)

Brazil       2        Colombia   1

Silva (7)                     Rodriguez (80 pen )                                                    

Luiz (68)     

Argentina     1           Belgium    0

Higuain (9)

Holland     0               Costa Rica  0

Holland win 4-3 on penalties

The big four have made it through to the semi finals and if we are all honest it is probably the the line up we all wanted.  I was quite disappointed with the Germany France game it promised so much and ended up being an early goal defended by an ever efficient German team.  It certainly wasn't great to watch and I think France will look back and think if they just went for it a bit more they may have got the win.

Belgium similarly to France didn't give enough against Argentina, who I still think they are a one man band, although a very tidy finish from their striker Higuain was the telling factor in the game.  Belgium will be right up there with the favourites for Euro 2016 and this tournament will be a very good learning curve for them.  I was really hoping for a repeat of the semi final of 1996 when Maradonna  tore Belgium apart all by himself.

Ok, I want you six to man mark Maradonna.

 

Brazil are still on course for their first home win in the world cup after they saw off the Colombians.  It was a brave fight from the Colombians and really did we expect anything else.  David Luiz's freekick was a worthy winning goal and unfortunately for the enthusiastic Colombians they did not have enough on the night.  People will point to the referee and his assistants for not booking certain Brazil players,  and maybe showing a little too much leniency toward the hosts.  Brazil were the better team on the night and it was probably the right result, it is a bit harsh for James Rodriguez and his mates but they can leave this tournament very proud of their efforts.  They have certainly been a breath of fresh air.

Costa Rica the so called whipping boys of Group D  managed to take the Dutch to a penalty shoot out in the quarter finals of the world cup.  Only a last minute of extra time save from the Dutch keeper and an amazing goalkeeper substitution from Dutch manager Van Gaal is what ultimately saved the Dutch from going out.  Of course Holland were the dominant side and had all the best chances but if you don't take them it can bite you on the arse, luckily for the Dutch it didn't.   Although Bryan Ruiz's penalty was saved by Tim Krul he said he had no regrets about this world cup and the way he had performed.  He also added that a move abroad from Fulham was on the cards and that it would mean he would have to give up his other career as  Marky Pillows in  the West London based Wet, Wet, Wet tribute band he sings in called Moist, Moist, Moist. 

Marky Pillows.  He feels it in his fingers, he feels it in his toes.

 

                 

Not another rest day!!

Knockout  round of 16

Argentina   1       Switzerland   0

Di Maria (118)

Belgium     2            USA    1

De Bruyne (93)                 Green (107)

Lukaku (105)

If Argentina go on to win the world cup it will be down to one man and one man alone, Lionel Messi.  The Argies are without doubt a one man team, and its not the same as in 1986 when they had Maradonna pulling all the strings, although that team wasn't the greatest there were a few players who popped up and helped out a bit.  This average at best team rely heavily on Messi and if he hadn't been involved in this game against Switzerland, then the Swiss would more than likely have won this game, although they will be disappointed  that the didn't put a little bit more in because Argentina were there for the taking.

Belgium will now face Argentina in the quarters after they narrowly squeaked past the USA.  I say squeaked past, Tim Howard was by far the busier keeper and had to pull off save after save to keep the Americans in the game, but it was the strength and depth of this Belgium side that ultimately put them through. Now I am no USA fan not by a long way but I have to say those American boys put in one hell of a performance and just like the Algerians the day before, when that final whistle went every single one of those players had given every last ounce of effort into trying to get something out of that game.  You could see that they were physically and mentally broken.  Jurgen Klinsmann must be a very proud man, and it was there for all to see on his face after the game, first came the disappointment of losing but then came the uncontrollable pride and sense of achievement after he had realised what he and his team of  unheard of hardworking players had done.  It even put a lump in my throat.  It just goes to show that if you put the effort in you can come away with something, for Algeria and USA they may not of won but come away with the admiration of the footballing world.  

I wonder if any of the England players watched those two games, if they did I dare any of them to say that they were 100% happy that they gave everything for their country in the two games they played in, in this world cup.

England players watching Belgium v USA
wishing they had as bigger Bollocks!!

   

So we have reached the quarter final stage of the world cup and I can see a few upsets.  Colombia have a great chance against Brazil, Belgium have an even bigger chance against Argentina and could little Costa Rica surprise everyone and beat the Dutch.  I don't know what will happen next in this fantastic world cup, but I can't wait until it all kicks off again tomorrow.

Bloody rest days!!! 

Lucky German's? Plucky Algerian's.

Knockout    Round of 16

France   2            Nigeria   0

Pogba (79)

Yobo (og 90)

Germany    2       Algeria   1

Schurrle (92)               Djabou (120)
Ozil (119)


France left it late but showed their class in the end to dump Nigeria out of the world cup.  It wasn't the best performance but they seem to be able to grind out results, a bit like how Germany do.  Paul Pogba, who was touted before the world cup as one to watch, is starting slowly to live up to his reputation.  The former Manchester United player is starting to show what a mistake it was for Sir Alex to let him go when he had him at Old Trafford a few years ago.  How Man Utd could have done with a midfielder of his quality last year.  Nigeria put up a fight in this game but it was always going to be a French win, especially the longer the game went on.


The game between Germany was somehow 0-0 after 90 minutes, but it was one of the best nil, niller's I have seen.  Algeria put up an absolute monumental effort to try and beat the German's but it just came down to in the end the poor decisions made by Algeria in the final third.  Algeria  broke on the counter many times in this game, but a wrong pass or one too many touches at the crucial stage, meant that the German's as lucky as they were just had enough to kill off the poor plucky Algerian's.  Before this game I was reading an article about Mesut Ozil in the local rag.  It was all about the fact that the Algerians being Muslims were all fasting before the game, however Greman Mesut Ozil is also a practicng Muslim but has decided not to fast due to the fact that whilst he is in the world cup he is doing hard labour.  What does Ozil do for a living?  oh yeah he kicks a ball about and does a bit of running for a couple of hours.

Hard Labour

 
      














So all the Algerian's didn't eat or drink all day before yesterday's game, which was probably one of the reasons that they kept cramping up late on in the game.  Whilst they are preparing the best they can ol' Mesut Ozil is taking advantage of this situation by porking up on his pre- match meal.

Mesut Ozil's pre-match meal

                                                                       














So what a surprise it was when Ozil pops up in the 119th minute and scored what proved to be the winning goal.

The German' s have also been moaning about the fact that they have not been staying in any 5 star hotel whilst in Brazil like other teams have, namely England.  Apparently they have had to put up with less comfortable accommodation along the lines of a travel lodge.  I can see his point I suppose, I mean who really wants to share a bed with Lennery Hennery.

Night, Night Mesut.  Wake me up for breakfast.

                                   















So the German's get through and it is the French they will meet in the last 8, just like in 1982 when they meet at the semi final stage.  That of course was the famous game when German keeper Schumacher nearly killed French defender Patrick Battiston.  I wouldn't rule out another coming together like this, if the German goalkeeper comes out as many times as he did last night, although I doubt he would act as appallingly as Schumacher did 32 years ago.

Mexico Robbed by Robben.

Knockout  Round of 16

Holland   2               Mexico   1

Sneijder (88)                      Dos Santos (48)

Huntelaar (90 pen)

Costa Rica   1            Greece  1

Ruiz (52)                                Papastathopoulos (90)

Costa Rica win 5-3 on penalties

Arjen Robben admits to diving.  Shock, horror.  Although he doesn't admit to diving for the winning penalty where he dived and conned the ref.  Sometimes I wish players would just keep their big mouth's shut, we know you cheat Robben, we know you dive, but there is no need to admit to diving when you didn't and lie about when you did.  Twat!  

Anyway with the game coming to an end Mexico were one nil up and looking toward a place in the quarters, when all of a sudden a 3 minute turn around the French knocked the unlucky Mexican's out of the world cup, that must be worse than losing on penalties.  It's  heartbreak for Mexico after they, like many other unfancied teams have put up such a good show at this years tournament.  Holland looked as though were going to be beaten, not just by the Mexican's but ultimately by the 38 degree heat.  The Dutch didn't look their flowing footballing selves and the ridiculous heat must have been a major reason behind this.  Fair play to the Dutch though they did what very good football teams do, they found a way to win, and that is what wins you tournaments.

The Dutch will now play little Costa Rica after a man of the match performance from the goalkeeper Ramon Tikaram.  47 year old Tikaram normally known for his acting roles in Dream Team and This LIfe, put in a near Schmichaelesque type display, at times fending off the never say die Greeks on his own.  Tanita Tikaram's older brother pulled off a range of top class saves after the Costa Rican's were reduced to ten men.  Their backs were against the wall for nearly an hour of this game as 10 played 11.  It ended in a penalty shoot out after an extra time that saw players from both teams looking dead on their feet.  It was Tikaram who saved the day though as his penalty shootout save from Gekas set up Michael Umana to score the winning penalty.  The Costa Rican's had lead from the 52nd minute but just failed to hold on to full time when Greece scored another late equaliser, defender Sokratis, who was obviously named after the philosopher and not after the late great Brazilian chain smoking midfielder, who was named after the same philosopher, pounced on a Tikaram parry in the 92nd minute.  Tikaram made up for this slight mistake ten fold though and it is now a showdown with the mighty Dutch that await in the quarter finals on Saturday.

Tikaram was asked if their would be a twist in his sobriety after the game, he told the interviewer he would get absolutely fuck faced if they managed to get passed Holland.

Nevas, Schmichaelesque at times

Scumbag XI

After the controversy of the Suarez biting incident I have decided to pick 11 players who have either cheated or done something so outrageous it has seen their world cup end in disgrace.

1:  Harald Schumacher

In 1982 this West German goalkeeper so fit to rush out of his area and jump straight into onrushing Frenchman Patrick Battiston.  Schumacher had no intention of going for the ball and wiped out the  French defender, knocking out three teeth in the process.  Schumacher showed no remorse for his actions and didn't even receive a yellow card for this cynical,  pre-meditated filth of a challenge.

3:  Jose Batista

Our first Uruguyan.  Batista still holds the unwanted record of the fastest sending off in world cup history.  His dirty late challenge on little tiny Gordon Strachan after 56 seconds in a group game in Mexico 1986.   His team mates looked  stunned at the decision, as they acted hard done by and surrounded the referee.  It's nice to see that after nearly 30 years Uruguay's petulance has improved beyond recognition.

5: Frank Rijkaard

The Dutchman became Germany's number one hated person in 1990 when he was caught on camera spitting at Rudi Voeller, during their round of 16 knockout match.   The German's had their revenge though as they progressed through to the quarter finals at Holland's expense, after both teams had been reduced to ten men.
This incident will always be remembered and spitting isn't  and should not be excepted in football.
Frank Rijkaard is dirty little fucker and deserves his place in the heart of this scumbag XI defence.

6:  Slaven Bilic

Surprise choice for some, but Slaven Bilic is our first cheat in the scumbag XI.  In the semi final against France in 1998 a bit of argey bargey in the box ended with Bilic falling to the ground holding his face.  In the aftermath French defender Laurent Blanc was sent off for an elbow.  Television evidence went on to prove that Bilic had not been touched by Blanc and the Frenchman had been sent off unfairly.  Luckily for France they went on to win the game and the final itself after beating Brazil 3-0.

2:  Mauro Tassotti

Italian Tassotti is famous for elbowing Spain's Luis Enrique in the face and breaking his nose without the referee seeing the incident.  It was only after retrospective evidence that the defender got his come-uppence and received an 8 match ban.  Apparently Luis Enrique lost about a pint of blood after this incident in the 1994 world cup in USA.

 7: Christiano Ronaldo

There is no doubt that Ronaldo is a fantastic footballer, but the reason he is in this line up is not just for his winking episode with then team mate Wayne Rooney in 2006 but just because he is another one of these players who although they have undoubted talent and ability they still have to act like a spoilt little twat.  Feigning injury, always first to complain and his general hard done to demeanor means the greatest player in the world at the moment gets the nod or the wink.

8:  Zineine Zidane

The 2006 world cup final and the greatest player in the world in his last appearance for France, instead of showing the world what an amazing player he was on the biggest stage, he decides to completely lose the plot and headbutt Italian Marco Matarazzi in the chest.  It was one of those what the fuck moments!  A well respected football genius having a meltdown right in front of everyones eyes.  What should have been a celebration of a fantastic career ended in one of complete disgrace.

4:  Rivaldo

The most ridiculous member of this team.  When Turkish player Hakan Unsal kicked the ball toward Rivaldo and hit him in the leg  the Brazilian decided to hold his face and roll around on the floor subsequently getting the poor Turk sent off.  Rivaldo was later found guilty of feigning injury and rightly fined.

 10:  Diego Maradonna

The first player in this team that comes in with a double whammy of offences.  His hand of god goal against England in 1986 was cheating at it's very worse, but his disgraceful ejection from the 1994 world cup for testing positive for drugs ended his international career and makes Maradonna the rightful owner of the Scumbag XI number 10 and deserved wearer of the captains armband.

11:  Willie Johnston

This Scotsman has the unfortunate tag of being the first British player to be sent home from a world cup.  In 1978 after Scotland's disappointing first game defeat to Peru, Johnston was dope tested and found positive of having a banned stimulant in his system.  The Scotsman was sent home in disgrace but as if  to show solidarity his Scottish team- mates were shortly following behind after failing to reach the knockout stages yet again.  Johnston still denies any illegal drug taking and he says the only medication he used whilst in Argentina was for hayfever.

9:  Luis Suarez

No Scumbag XI can be complete without a scumbag striker.  Luis Saurez another double whammy, not content with a blatant handball in the last minute of a quarter final against Ghana in 2010 to stop a goal.  He decides in the latest world cup in Brazil that he would bite another human being, for the third time in his career.  It isn't so much the biting but the fact he shows no remorse for what he has done.  Ladies and Gentleman I give you the pitbull, the rabid dog himself  Luis "the scumbag" Suarez.


 

Happy Uruguay are out day!!!

Knockout  Round of 16

Brazil    1              Chile   1

Luiz (18)                          Alexis (32)

Brazil win 3-2 on penalties

Colombia   2               U R OUT   0

Rodriguez (29, 50)

The last 16 kicked off with a pulsating game between the hosts and a hard working, never say die Chile side.  Ultimately it was the Brazilians who came out on top, but not until 120 minutes of football had been played when the underdogs eventually succumbed to the heartbreak of the dreaded penalty shoot out.

It's hard luck for the Chileans who have been another team in this world cup along with the likes of Mexico, Coasta Rica and Colombia who have been like a breath of fresh air.  The Chileans never looked out of this contest and nearly shocked the world of football when a last minute shot from substitute Pinalla rattled the Brazilian crossbar with Cesar well beaten.  So it wasn't to be for Chile, but they can walk away from this world cup with their heads held high and with a few more fans around the world.  Brazil march on and really still haven't shown the sort of football that we have come to expect from the South American's.  Results are all that matter though in this game and Brazil become the first team through to the quarter finals.

In the quarter finals Brazil will now play Colombia, after they dumped Uruguay out of the last 16.  I think all the world other than Uruguay of course wanted to see this result and were supporting Colombia after the whole Suarez situation had left such a bitter taste in the world of footballs mouth.  Although Uruguay forced a few saves from Colombia's brilliant goalkeeper David Ospina, it was the Colombian's who were always in control.  Two goals from new tournament top goalscorer James Rodriguez, the first of which an absolute beauty was enough to deservedly knock Uruguay out and send the Colombians through to a last 8 meeting with the their fellow South Americans.  Although the Brazilians will be favourites, I can see this exciting Colombian team causing Brazil quite a lot of problems whether or not it will be enough to knock the 5 time champions out of their own competition remains to be seen.  one thing is for sure it will be Brazil's toughest test to date, and if they play as they did against Chile yesterday then I expect Rodriguez and company to do a number on them.

Colombia have come a long way since 1990 when they reached the last 16 only to be knocked out by 2 Roger Milla and his Cameroon side.  Back then they were slightly ill disciplined  and even more naive, their best player looked like Cleo Laine with moustache, and they had a goalkeeper who was a complete mentalist.

 

 

No longer are Colombia a laughing stock not only do they have a young goalscoring sensation and a very good goalkeeper but they have decent hard working players all over the pitch.  

As for Uruguay I noticed that their national anthem has an introduction.  All the players were standing in silence for thirty seconds before they started to sing, I thought it was an instrumental.  It was like they were in assembly at junior school and they were waiting for the music teacher to play the first verse on the piano before they started to sing.  At one point I thought it was the hymn "The earth is yours O' God " and was expecting the players to shout the bit that goes "you nouriSH IT with rain", just like I did when I was at school.  By the time it had finished I wished it had have been an instrumental.  Anyway Uruguay are out and now they can go back home and console their star player who they still see as a hero.

Good riddance, the world cup doesn't need your shit!!! 

Group of Death for Portugal and Ghana.

Group   G

Portugal   2                 Ghana  1

Boyyyyyyyyy  (30 og)              Gyan (57)

Ronaldo (80)

USA   0                  Germany   1

                                       Muller (55)


After Ghana sent home two of their players for a training ground bust up, the African team were quickly joining them on the plane home.  Ronaldo got his world cup goal, but not even he could pull this sorry lot through to the next the round.  Germany ran out 1-0 winners against the States and luckily for Jurgen Klinsmann the two other teams in this group just didn't have enough to displace them as runners up in a group, that most people were calling the group of death.

Group   H

South  Korea  0        Belgium  1

                                           Vertonghan (78)

Algeria     1                 Russia  1

Silimani  (60)                           Kokorin (6)

Harry Redknapp was absolutely ecstatic last night after Algeria and their

"triffic" striker Silimani got the point they needed to make their way to knockout stages of the world cup.

Islam Silmani, he scores when he wants!

I had noticed earlier on in the night that the flat opposite me had an Algerian flag hanging off their balcony.  I can neither confirm or deny that a Range Rover pulled up outside the flats, or that a craggy faced 60 something man entered the flats just before kick off.  Nor can I deny or confirm that at the final whistle an Englishman surrounded by jubilant Algerians were jumping up and down on the balcony shouting "luvverley jubberley " and "triffic".

It was a bit like De Ja Vue for Fabio Crapello though, with 30 minutes to go in the game they would just need a goal to win it what does Fabio do, you guessed it.  Emile get your boots on son.

Go out there and get me a goal, golden boots.

In fact I was watching this game, cheering on the Algerians and he didn't do anything, and I am afraid to say Crapello and his Russians deserved everything they got which ended up being a first round knockout.

Belgium are steadily going along in this tournament and they are doing just enough, and you have got to say with the talent they have in this squad they could go all the way.

Last word on the Suarez ban, is it fair or is it harsh.  For me it was a bit like England's performance in the 2014 world cup.  I was hoping for a little bit more.

Diego Maradonna has had his say on the Saurez ban and he thinks the player has been treated unfairly and he defends the little Uraguyan.  This is why Maradonna will never be seen as the greatest player in the world ever, oh and he was a little fat cheating, horrible, moaning fat bastard.  I'm not bitter!!
And Suarez's own grandmother as spoke out and said that she thinks FIFA have treated her grandson like a dog.  That is probably because HE FUCKING ACTS LIKE A DOG LUV!  I shouted that just in case his Grandmama was a little hard of hearing.  What will he do next take a shit on the football pitch.

I think the boy Lineker might have shit himself Brian!

Jurgen says: People of America, have a day off.

Group    E

Ecuador    0          France    0

Honduras   0            Switzerland  3

                                          Shaqiri (6, 31, 71)


Although Ecuador put up a bit of a fight, and Honduras did most of their fighting on the pitch, there were no real surprises in this group as the 2 favourites topped the group[ and made it easily through to the next stage.  My new favourite team France made a few changes and showed that they really need to play their first eleven to have any chance of success this time round.  Switzerland thumped Ecuador with with  3 goals from Colombian arse shaking singing star Shaqira, her hat trick was the 50th hat trick in the world cup.

Shakira, 50th hat trick in world cup history.  Her hips don't lie.

Group   F

Bosnia   3               Iran    1

Dzeko (23)                      Goochi, Gooooch, Gooochinard.  Reza (82)

Pjanic (59)

Vrsajevic (83)

Nigeria  2              Argentina   3

Musa (4, 47)                   Messi (3, 45)

                                       Rojo (50)

Ok, I admit Messi is starting to look good in this tournament but what is the goalie doing for the free-kick?  

I feel a bit sorry for the Iranians after their last minute defeat to Argentina, but they didn't do enough at the end of the day, and Bosnia rolled them over. 

 Nigeria are the first African team to get through to the second phase and  I wonder if Harry Redknapp's favourite new team Algeria will be joining them, as I can't for the life of me see Ghana getting through, even if they beat Ronaldo.   Germany and USA will surely play out a draw, won't they?  

Apparently USA, USA, USA, GET IN THE HOLE manager Jurgen "the German" Klinsmann has told the American public to have a day off  to support and get behind their team as they aim to beat Germany and top the group.  I would be very surprised  if anybody in America even know's there is a world cup in soccer even going on.   Anyone who does take a day off though will use the excuse that Jurgen Klinsmann told them to, and will no doubt sue the German if they end up getting the sack from their job for not bothering to show up.   I really can't believe Jurgen is going to try and beat Germany, if it all goes tits up and USA end up losing this and Ghana end up winning against Portugal by a good few goals, then Klinsmann is going to look a right prick.  

Germany and USA to go through for me.  

So bye, bye Ronaldo.

Falcao who? Colombia march on.

Group   C

Greece   2          Ivory Coast   1

Samaris (42)               Bony (74)

Samaras (90 pen)

Japan   1              Colombia  4

Okazaki (45)                 Cuadrado (17 pen)

                                      Martinez (55,82)

                                       Rodriguez (89)

Not many would have had Greece and Colombia as winners and runners up in this group, but Colombia have been brilliant in this world cup so far scoring 9 goals in the process.  As for Greece their over defensive football saw them through against an Ivory Coast side who just didn't turn up on the night.  The Greek SAS, Samaris and Samaras scored the goals that booked the Greeks place in the second round.  Pele, the greatest player ever to kick a football, once stated that an African nation would win the world cup by the year 2000, obviously that hasn't happened and with only Cameroon in 1990 reaching the quarter final stage, and four years ago when Ghana were denied a semi final place by the hand of rabid dog, it doesn't look as if that will happen anytime soon.

Hey Bobby, an African team will win the world cup by the year 2000.

Group  D

Costa  Rica   0       England   0

Italy       0                   Uruguay   1

                                             Godin (81)

Uruguay booked their place in the second round for a showdown with fellow South American rivals Colombia.  There is no point going into the biggest talking point of this game, only to say if any person in any other walk of life bites someone else once, they would get sacked and or arrested, but for someone to do it 3 times is just truly unbelievable.  Saurez and the Uruguayan team should be embarrassed by their actions, and I for one hope Colombia absolutely batter them in the last 16.

As for England they came out of their last game with an emphatic 0-0 draw with the mighty Costa Rica.  I now know what it must be like to be Scottish fan.  For the first time ever since I have been watching England we have finished bottom of the group and not qualified for the second round.

Italy for me have been a poor team and even leading up to this tournament I thought they would not get out of this group, and I was proven right,  I did however think England would do much better, but unfortunately we are coming home with one point and 2 goals, and bottom of the table.  Disappointing.

.

24/6/1990

Knockout round last 16

West  Germany  2             Holland   1

Klinsmann  (51)                             R Koeman (89 pen)

Brehme  (82)

24 years ago today a game took place in Italia 90 that won't be remembered for a fantastic goal or by a match winning save.  It will long be remembered as the day that Holland's Frank Rijkaard sniffed as hard as he could and summoned up a massive greenie which he finally propelled into the German striker Ruddi Voeller's 1980's curly mullett.  

It is one of those moments in football, that you never forget, no matter how much you try to.

The Dutch lost this game and the German's went on to lift the trophy after they had beaten England in the semi finals on penalties.

The thing that I most remember about this incident though was the interview after the game that ITV had with the Then Ireland manager Jack Charlton.  I think it might have been Elton Welsby who asked Big Jack "what did you make of the spitting incident, Big Jack?" to which he replied.  "Absolutely disgusting Jim,  I tell you one thing though, if he hadder dunnit to me, I woulda chinned him.

Big Jack woulda chinned him.

Mexico and Chile look forward as England prepare for friendly

Group   A

Cameroon   1              Brazil    4

Matip (26)                             Neymar (17, 34)

                                              Fred (49)

                                              Fernandinho (84)

Croatia        1              Mexico    3

Persic  (87)                             Marquez (73)

                                               Guardado (75)

                                               Hernandez (82)

Brazil and Mexico finish Group A as winners and runners up respectively, as Count Kovac's Croatia and the hapless Cameroon are off this morning to catch the plane home.  Kovac will obviously be shipped out encased in an air tight box as not to be exposed to direct sunlight, either that or he will just take a later flight undercover of darkness. MOOWHAAHAHAHA!

Group   B

Australia   0             Spain     3

                                          Villa (36)

                                           Torres (69)

                                           Mata (82)

Holland     2               Chile    0

Fer (77)

Memphis (90)

Spain finally won a game in a major tournament for the first time in what 3 games?  A 3-0 victory meant plucky Australia finished bottom of the pile in Group B.  Holland top the group and Chile will now play Brazil in the next round after a very creditable second place finish.  The scorer of the Dutch 2nd goal is actually Depay, but he has the nickname Memphis because of his love of the character in the film Happy Feet of the same name.  

If you have never seen the film Happy Feet, don't bother it's crap.

Tonight England play in one of their favourite type of games, a meaningless friendly against Costa Rica.  Roy has decided that it is time to blood some of the youngsters and drop some of the old guard, and give Frank Lampard the captains armband for what will almost certainly be his last ever England game.   With the defence he is playing tonight I can see us losing about 3-0 and Roy Hodgeson will be the only English manager whose team has come out pointless at a world cup.  I will obviously watch it though because I couldn't give a shit who wins between Italy and Uruguay.

Tim's not mad

Group   G

USA   2                Portugal   2

Jones J (64)                   Nani (5)

Dempsey (81)                Varela (90)

A last minute pinpoint cross from Ronaldo set up a Varela  header, that kept Portugal in this world cup by the skin of their teeth.  This means that Germany will have to play USA in the final game.  That is USA managed by Jurgen Klinnsman, Jurgen the German both teams need a draw to progress, I wonder if we will see these two play out a stalemate.  It would be totally unprofessional by both teams and extremely hard on Ghana in particular, if they manage to beat Portugal, but we all know the Germans have previous.  As for the game it was quite exciting, but Tim "tourettes" Howard must have been effing and Jeffing like a sailor at his defence when that last minute header went in.  The cameras did turn to Howard as he trudged off the pitch but quickly turned off him when he started muttering to himself, rumours that Howard was sitting in the dressing room after the game howling and calling all his team mates big nose are as yet unconfirmed.

Group   H  

Belgium    1                Russia   0

Origi (88)

Two below average performances for Belgium and two victories, everybody's dark horses are doing a job, at times they are riding their luck but the are now guaranteed a place in the knockout stages.  Who know's how far they can go but surely they will improve as the tournament moves along, if that is the case then they may proove to be a tough team to beat.  The commentator shouted "its the 19 year old, Divock Origi" when Belgium scored.  It reminded me of when Northern Ireland played in the world cup in 1982 and every time Norman Whiteside got the ball John Motson would shout "it's the seventeen year old, Whiteside".  To be fair this didn't just happen in the world cup it happened in every game Norman Whiteside played for Manchester United when he was 17.

South Korea   2                      Algeria   4

Son (50)                                              Silmani (26)

Koo (72)                                              Halliche (28)

                                                            Djabou (37)

                                                            Brahimi (62)

Probably the best game of the world cup so far, it had goals, skill and lots of passion, especially from the 

Algerians.  Algeria's 4th goal was a great team move, great passing and fine finish.  I can imagine Premier league managers looking at this Algerian team and thinking their a bit of alright.  Obviously I'm talking about Harry Redknapp, I reckon Harry was watching that last night and will be sending Joe Jordan on the first plane possible to Brazil.  Don't be surprised if QPR bring in a few Algerians this season.  Silimani is what Harry would call a "triffic player".  Watch this space.

Yes Jeff, I'm driving to Brazil to buy some Algerians.

 

English pride!!!

A lot has been said about England and their lack of passion and pride when they pull on an England shirt.  It seems to a lot of people that the current crop of England stars work harder, play better and seem to give a lot more for their respected clubs than they ever do for their country.  As an outsider looking in this could be seen to be the case.  However I just don't think we are good enough, although I do think that unfortunately these days your club does come first, mainly because of the high wages these players are paid.  The thing is years ago it was seen as a privilege to play for you country, maybe nowadays for some it is more of a necessary job that comes with being a professional footballer.  I hope this is not the case, but will we ever really know one way or another.

With this argument in mind I have decided to pick an England 11 based on players since 1990 who have played for their country and have been literally dripping with pride.

1:  Peter Shilton  GK
Although from another era Shilts is the only choice as the number 1.
He still to this day loses sleep over Maradonna's hand of god goal in 1986.  Played in 3 world cups and didn't disgrace himself in any of them, as long as you don't count his moment of madness in the 3rd/4th place play off in 1990 against Italy.

2:   Gary Neville  RB
A man who has never been afraid to show his passion for either his club or his country.  Some people may not like him because of who he is, but even now in his role in the modern England set up as part of the coaching staff, you can see him kicking every ball on the sidelines, wishing he was still in the thick of it on the pitch.

6:  Terry Butcher  CB
Just look at the picture on the left and tell me this man has no pride.
This man is not just full of passion and pride he is an absolute maniac.
A man that doesn't let a little thing like having half your head falling off stop you completing 90 minutes for your country.  Just look at his eyes, he probably loved it.

5:  Tony Adams   CB
Adams had his critics over the years, but what England would give for a defender like him nowadays.  Not just a stopper but this bloke could play a bit as well.  Oh and another thing if you ever get a chance to see any games in Euro 96, just have a look at how loud this man is belting out the national anthem.

3:  Stuart Pearce  LB
Psycho.  The nickname says it all.  The way Pearce came back from the pain of the penalty miss against Germany in 1990 and the disappointment of not qualifying for the world cup in 1994, to step up and bang home a penalty versus Spain at Euro 96 shows the character of this man.  Seeing him shouting and screaming after that converted penalty still gives me goose bumps.

4:  Paul Ince   CDM
Here is a type player we haven't had for many a year now, a player that does all the dirty stuff in midfield but also instinctively knows when it's time to go forward.  Love him or hate him there can be no question that when the Gov'ner put on the three lions he would only ever give 100%.

8:  Bryan Robson  CM
Captain marvel or captain fantastic, call him what you will but you knew what you would get from this box to box midfielder when he wore that England shirt.  My memories of  always seemed to be of him being walked of the pitch with his arm in a sling.  Injuries aside he was a real leader and he lead by example.  A real battler who would always nick a goal or two.

10: Paul Gascoigne  CAM
What can you say about Gazza that hasn't already been said a million times over.  This bloke would give his left bollock to play for England, and if that weren't good enough he would give you someone elses too.
His tears were there for all to see, as was his passion every time he played football, whether it was for England or just a kick about in his back garden.  The most gifted and exciting player England have produced in my lifetime.  Just Gazza.

7:  David Beckham  RW
After France in 1998 David Beckham would have been the last name considered for this team, but as we all know after the 2-2 draw with Greece in 2001 where |Beckham took on the Greeks seemingly all by himself and dragged us through to the world cup finals in 2002, how can he not be in it.

11:  Chris Waddle  LW
This was the hardest position to pick for on the pitch, not only have we never really been gifted with great wide players, but a wide player with passion?  Waddle was heartbroken after that penalty, and unfortunately for him he never had the chance to redeem himself as Stuart Pearce did in 1996.  If he had of had the chance I am sure his celebration would have been just as powerful as Psycho's.

9:  Gary Lineker  ST
Gary Lineker got his debut for England as a player who played for an unfashionable team Leicester City.  I don't think anyone can dispute his passion whenever he turned out for England.  Even now as a presenter he still shows the same passion as a supporter and you can see his disappointment every tournament when England fail to deliver yet again.
Maybe in the future we will get another prolific striker from another unfashionable club, who plays football just because he loves scoring goals.





That's my eleven and I am sure you will agree that if that team took the field in this tournament, there wouldn't be any question about pride or passion.

I would like to mention as well David Platt and Peter Beardsley who I also believe would get into this team.

Shearer and Scholes in my book retired to young from international football, and although they obviously had pride and passion, there decision to choose club over country means they don't get in.